I'm going to take my 7 year old to an 11pm showing of the Dark Knight!!! Im a good parent right?

So the Dark Knight came out yesterday on DVD and for those who haven't seen it:

[fan boy]

OH EMM GEE (omg ha) GO SEE IT RIGHT NOW, ITS AWESOME, WELL WORTH THE MONEY FOR THE DVD. HEATH LEDGER IS AWESOME IN IT!!!one1one!!one!1

[/fan boy]

But this isn't about the movie at all, it is just where this piece of parent douchebaggery happened. Anyways, back when the Dark Knight was in theaters, Girlfriend, Tall Friend and Russia (girl he was dating) went to see this movie in IMAX. It was my first and only IMAX experience, but it was amazing.

So we get there, stand in the long ass line, get great cheeseburgers from Fuddruckers, and find out seats.

Now this is where all the shit goes down.

Like I said in my post from yesterday:

However, I am a man with a large frame. Anyone who knows me knows this. I've been on to many flights, to many sporting events, to many shows, to many movies where I've sat down and some complete stranger comes in and invades my personal space.

So walking in comes a mother and her (roughly) 7-9 year old son. Of course, they sit next to me, but thankfully the son sits next to me so I still have adequate room and I'm large enough that he can't challenge me for the arm rest because I'd beat his little kid ass into the ground.

Now the movie starts and I'm eating my cheeseburger engrossed in the movie, having a good ole time. All of a sudden, this kid's mother screams and pulls her son towards her saying "Billy! Don't look at it!" because the part is a little tense. So I look at her with some strange look and shrug my shoulders.

In my head I'm thinking What the fuck is this broad doing? Well, maybe I'll give her the benefit of the doubt, I mean, a pencil was just inserted into a guy's head. However, I keep watching the movie. Now for those who haven't seen it, I won't give anything away, but there are some pretty intense parts, add to the fact its in IMAX, it is even more intense. Every time some tense music came on, she'd grab her son, nuzzle his head into the armpit to breast section and say 'Its ok to not look!'.

Now I'm starting to get pissed because all I can hear is this fucking psychopathic bitch grab her child and scream when the music got a little kooky. I mean come on lady! What the fuck are you doing? Do I need to break your steps down in where you went wrong here?

A) You brought your 7-9 year old son to the Dark Knight
B) You brought him to an 11pm showing of the movie
C) You grab the kid like he was hit with napalm once the music gets tense
D) You tell him its ok to not look when YOU ARENT GIVING HIM THE CHOICE TO WATCH IT OT NOT

Do you now get what you're doing? You are effectively ruining the kids movie for him and possibly his life. Don't tell him its ok to not look, then rip him away without giving him the fucking choice to look. If you were so protective of him in the first place, why would you spend around $25.00 for two tickets only to shun him from the good parts of the movie?

It boggles the mind to know what the fuck you think was going to happen? That the good people of the IMAX theater would see you and Billy Pussface walking in so they'd pull out the Batman cartoon instead so he doesn't have nightmares of Heath Ledger as the Joker while he is sleeping?

Fucking christ, lady! Its the mother fucking Dark Knight, clearly its going to be intense, jumpy, a little scary and overall ten shades of awesome. Why are you covering your sons eyes when something happens?

This is why kids are such pussies these days, people like this woman. You know, when I was 7, my father took me to see Ghostbusters 2 and I cried when the slime tried to grab Ray and pull him into the river of slime, but what did my father do? Nothing. And I thank him for that! When I was 8, he was watching Poltergeist and the part where the skull comes ripping through the closet literally scared the piss out of me and when I asked him to shut it off, he said no.

Now this isn't about my father being an asshole, its about parents not being so fucking stupid sometimes. Don't take your kid(s) to see a movie, only to jump all over them to protect their innocence. They can, and will, see much more fucked up shit on the Internet then they ever will by seeing a guy being shot in the movie.

You can always tell a kid its a movie and its not real. Its for entertainment. Hey son, I know that part was scary, but its not real. Trust me. I've never viewed that in real life.

HOLY SHIT, how's that for a fucking line.

Parents need to use their fucking brains more. I don't know if I was more pissed because the mother should shut her fucking yap while screaming "No Billy! Don't look! It's ok Billy!" or because the poor kid couldn't watch the movie himself.

But hey, I guess its not worse than the 3 year old kid walking out of Saw V right?

So to the lady who brought her son to see the Dark Knight in IMAX at 11pm and then grabbed him like he was on fire when a bad part happened:



and fuck you lady!