I got a top hat and cane and a pocket full of...

Are you a woman? Are you a man with womanly feelings? Has something recently got you down like a divorce, break-up or period?



Then do we have a product for you! From the company that brought you the wildly successful Rent-A-Bum comes another fantastic product!

Introducing...

POCKET FULL OF MIRACLES!

Has something happened to you in the past that is now creeping back into your head? Did your boyfriend or husband just leave you for a younger, more sexually active woman while leaving a letter explaining how they made whoopie in the park on cold winter nights? Are you bleeding for 5 days and still alive?



Well Pocket Full of Miracles is here to brighten your day!

Pocket Full of Miracles is for any brooding bitch out there to tell you exactly how special you really are! Made of quality denim, Pocket Full of Miracles is exactly what I said stupid! A jean pocket, sewn with tiny miracles written on pieces of paper.

Feeling sad? Open a new miracle!

Woman: I am so sad. My man just left me :( I want to drown my sorrows in that iced cream I keep hearing about.

**BLAM!**

Woman: Wow, its a Pocket FULL of Miracles!

*Reads Miracle*

Woman: You're right, I am a good cook! Thanks Pocket Full Of Miracles!

Pocket Full of Miracles will turn that frown upside down with such messages as:

'Don't be sad, you're still hot after 5 beers!'
'Nothing says sexy like staying in the kitchen'
'More kids = love'

and the always popular

'Start baking stupid!'

This is now you're best friend!!

What are you waiting for? Order Pocket Full of Miracles TODAY!!

Call 555-PFOM to place your order!! Act now, because women's activist groups everywhere are suing our asses as we speak!

Pocket Full of Miracles is trademarked by someone other than myself. Whatever, I'll fight them because I'm a big strong man, RAWR! If you need a cut out jean pocket containing small slips of paper with bullshit written on it to make you happy, please find some help. This product does not give, endorse or allow happiness, it is merely an exploitation of sad women. Again, I can not stress enough that if you need this shitty product to make yourself happy, go find help, either at the end of shot glass, gun barrel or therapist. Also, by reading this you hereby waive your right, or family's right to sue me for implying something other than therapy. You're an idiot for actually listening to me