I Bleed Green and Yellow...WHAT!? IM FUCKING BLEEDING GREEN AND YELLOW!?!?

Ok, so maybe its the cold just seeping into the brain or maybe its the fact my iPod broke today for no apparent reason other than being a piece of shit, but I have a real problem with a certain NFL commercial.

I can't find it on the web, which is a shock to me, but the commercial is this guy who has given his significant other a toaster or some shitty gift for Christmas. So she gives him a shitty 'Oh my god, I can't believe you' look as she passes him a gift. Now this asshole, who already gave his girl a shitty gift says 'I hope its better than last years!'. Wow, either his girl is a doormat or he has the biggest set of balls this side of the Mississippi.

So she gives this guy his present and he tears into the thing like a 5 year old getting Shark Attack or Bed Bugs (its the bed bugs, catch them if you can, its the bed bugs...sorry, had a christmas flashback to my childhood)

It's pretty fucked up that there was a game called Bed Bugs.

FYI for those who don't know:



So anyways, who fucking thought it was a good idea to make a game with bed bugs? Have you seen these fucking things? They are evil as fuck man, and pretty nasty too. Sorry, I'm getting off topic...

Anyways, so all of a sudden, this idiot is going to open his present and cuts himself. He looks down at the cut and is bleeding yellow and green in perfect symmetry. After watching his body bleed a mixture of mustard and relish, this asshole shrugs it off.

SHRUG IT OFF!? How the fuck can you shrug off bleeding TWO different colors? Let alone green and yellow. What are you an alien? Is your blood acidic? No. Go to the doctors, dont just sit there with a shit eating grin on your face as you wipe your disgusting multi-colored blood on ur woman.

Now, don't get me wrong, I like smearing goop on a woman when she's out of line (goop? wtf), but mutli-colored blood is just wrong.

I know its only a commercial, but what the fuck. Can't you come up with something better than that bullshit.

Oh, I forgot to add that the jersey his lady got him said Pack Daddy on it. What a fucking asshole. If I ever saw a guy walking about with a Pack Daddy name stitched into the back of a Green Bay Packers jersey, I may have to punch him square in the mouth.

I would bash him with a lead pipe and make sidewalk art with his fucked up blood. That's what his woman should do. I get it, you're a Packers fan. You know what, I'm a Bruins fan and if I cut myself and black and gold blood started running from my body, I'd find a fucking church because I'd think the devil was crawling out of my skin.

Maybe I just watch to many horror movies.

Oh well, at least I got to reference Bed Bugs and Shark Attack, right?

SHARK ATTACK...WHAT ARE YOU GUNNA DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
(sorry, another christmas memory seeping out)



America, Fuck Yeah!