I Carry A Gun To Be Cool, Yet I Shot Myself In My Leg

I don't know which of my readers follow sports. If you don't, you're about to read about sports, so you may want to turn back. If you do, you've already heard that Giants WR Plaxico Burress was shot in the leg on Friday night.

Oh man, another professional athlete gunned down because someone was jealous of him and his millions of dollars?

Nope.

Plax was shot in the leg BY HIMSELF!

Oh yeah, you heard it right.

So apparently Plaxico was at a club in New York called the Latin Quarter, with a gun, and something happened which alarmed him and made him grab his gun. The Super Bowl winning wide receiver (WR if you didn't realize it earlier) fumbled around for his piece and shot himself.

He fucking shot himself in the leg!

Immediately I thought of the YouTube video where the cop shoots himself while talking to the class, so here it is for anyone who has never viewed it.



But that is besides the point.

I don't get professional athletes man. I don't get these guys at all. First off, if you play the right sport (basically any big name sports outside of hockey), you can make A LOT of money by being average. Players know this and they are due for whatever is coming to them in terms of monetary compensation. What I don't agree with is how greedy these fucking people are. This of course is a discussion for another time.

Now, most professional athletes aren't bad people and they do a lot of good for the community, but there is always that player that will fuck everything up for the group of athletes. Look at the track record.

Pacman Jones started a riot in a Las Vegas club. This asshole "made it rain", then decided to take out his gun and paralyze some guy.

Stephen Jackson of the Indiana Pacers shoots a gun in the air 4 or 5 times at a strip club.

Plaxico Burress at a club, shoots himself in the leg

And the thing is, there are more that I am forgetting and don't care to look up.

But what I am trying to say is this:

You are a professional athlete and you make a SHITLOAD of money, get a shitload of pussy and enjoy benefits that I, or my readers, may never have in their entire lifetime.

All of this prestige brings jealousy. Jealousy brings out bad decisions. Why would you allow yourself to be put in the situation where you need to bring a gun to a club just in case something happens?

Does it make any sense? When does the thought Hey, I have to bring a loaded weapon here, maybe its not a good idea ever come into play? I mean, Jesus Christ use your fucking head once in a while.

And why aren't these guys being prosecuted? They don't have gun licenses, yet they are able to walk off because they can shoot a basketball, catch a football or hit a baseball. If they were the same person living in the hood of Oakland, they'd be in jail faster than you can blink.

Its a fact. So I am going to diplomatically write a letter to every professional athlete out there, hoping that one of them gets lost and finds this blog.

Dear Professional Athlete,

My name is Greg and I am a 25 year old avid lover of sports. I watch your trade on a daily basis, but I have a gripe with what you do. Now, please don't take my words out of context and this certainly doesn't have to do with all of you.

I feel that you, the professional athlete, are very good at what you do, but I feel as a human being you are a fucking retard. I am surprised that most of you can read and/or write and I am surprised that you can get out of bed in the morning.

What doesn't surprise me is that when you retire from your trade, you eventually file for bankruptcy (Hey Latrell!) or end up doing some shitty promotions to make end's meat.

You're not the brightest bulb in the human tree and we know this. You like to feel like a gangster, run around with a posse and get on the mic to rap or whatever it is you do.

I hope that in the future, when you go out to the club to drink that bottle full of bub, you realize that if you need to bring a loaded weapon, it may not be a good idea. If you do bring a loaded weapon to a club and feel the need to discharge it, please shove the barrel into your mouth and THEN pull the trigger.

It is only then, professional athlete, that we can smile because another moron has bit the dust.

Love,
Greg

Hey Kobe, how's my ass taste?